Who is Satoshi Nakamoto and what is Bitcoin?
This article presents a fictional narrative of events and any basis in truth is left purely to the reader to determine from their own volition.
1991 - Universal Electronic Cash, Advances in Cryptology
1994 - Single-Term Divisible Electronic Coins, Advances in Cryptology
1995 - An Efficient Divisible Electronic Cash Scheme, Advances in Cryptology
Preface
Was Bitcoin an NSA project released in 2008 as an experiment? Did it become a runaway success beyond their wildest dreams? During 2012 –2016, did the US Intelligence Community transfer the Bitcoin project to a new group and have this new group transformed Bitcoin into an asset class and a backup plan for the USD? Are they now intending to use Bitcoin as potential weapon of mass financial destruction to any successors of the USD system?
Fast forward to 2023, supra-national regional blocks such as BRICS are now considering integrating Bitcoin as part of their basket of currencies. Are they aware that the owner of Satoshi’s keys is still an unresolved issue? Are they aware an enourmous quantity of Bitcoin’s supply is still owned and controlled by Satoshi’s keys? If it turns out that the “US Empire” is actually in control of Satoshi’s keys (and always was), could integrating Bitcoin into the BRICS basket be a trojan horse of historic proportions and a pathway back for USD dominance? Are the geo-political implications and future of mankind fundamentally at stake? No, of course not, right?
A Story Of Satoshi
The mystery of Bitcoin’s genesis remains elusive as ever today. It was released pseudonymously by someone who covered their multi-year digital tracks with military precision. Every post was pseudonymous, every connection to the internet untraceable and obfuscated via ToR onion-routing. In all his digital presence, in all his years, Satoshi left absolutely no footprint behind. Not a single IP address was leaked, not a single reference to his actual identity ever made, accidental or intentional. Perfect from day 1, before Bitcoin was ever on the radar. Amazing. Even more baffling, Satoshi amassed a Bitcoin stash of 1 million Bitcoins (currently worth $26.6 billion USD). Yet despite his astonishing success and potential to live out the rest of his life as a glorious historical figure in the Musk’ian sense, Satoshi has not spent a single coin and has all but vanished, never to be seen again. Weird.
His successor, Galvin Betasen (not real name), clearly someone of high-intellect and ability, also mysteriously exited the scene. His quick exit from crypto took the form of being “publicly humiliated” by “getting conned” into naming an Australian 5-eyes intelligence operative called Greg Wrong (not real name) as Satoshi Nakamoto. As a result of Galvin’s baffling mistake, the colourful con-man he anointed, Greg Wrong, was catapulted into the global zeitgeist as “the person who is Satoshi”. All this occurred to the befuddlement of the crypto community. As a result of this debacle, Galvin “ruined his reputation” and was booted from the Bitcoin project by other developers, whom also have connections to the NSA. He quickly fled the crypto scene, never to be seen again. Was this a convenient cover story and an exit narrative for an NSA operative? (More on Greg Wrong at bottom)
That’s two now, Satoshi and Galvin. Double weird.
Another figure involved in the early development of Bitcoin was Hal Finney (real name). Hal was a famous cryptographer, and a known NSA contractor, who also mysteriously disappeared from scene around the same time as Satoshi and Galvin. Was Hal Finney contracted, along with his neighbour “Dorian Satoshi Nakamoto” (real name) to write the initial Bitcoin codebase for the NSA?
Hal’s quick exit from the scene took the form of “dying from Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) ” in 18 months. He announced his diagnosis in a BitcoinTalk forum post on March 7, 2013 and died August 28, 2014. He died of the same disease that Stephen Hawking lived with for 55 years. However, the mystery of Hal goes further. Technically Hal Finney did not die of ALS since his legal death arose from being “cryogenically preserved” in a Texan facility. So basically, Hal just walked into a cryogenic facility and was never seen again, the government issued a Death Certificate, and that’s the last you’ll hear of him, right? Is this another method used by intelligence agencies? Is Hal Finney alive and well somewhere, jogging his morning route under some new identity? Truth may be stranger than fiction, or are they even distinguishable at this point?
Okay, so now we have 3 founding members of Bitcoin with mysterious exits all around the same time. At what point does weird become suspicious?None of them to become flamboyant crypto-bros with NFT-minting trophy wives and Lambos to spare. No, potential multi-billionaire celebrities not to be, just to vanish.
Further, those who would remain as the gatekeepers of Bitcoin have not advanced Bitcoin one iota since. Many of them have NSA connections and push a toxic brand of maximalism that attacks every Bitcoin competitor. Simultaneously they do nothing to advance Bitcoin or to lift it’s crippling limitations. Interestingly, they all push the same narrative of “if Bitcoin fails, they will all fail”. At what point does weird become suspicious?
Next we have the “coup d’etat”. Not many people know there was rift in Bitcoin in 2017 which split the community. Basically, when Bitcoin was succeeding too fast and needed to be toned down, it got handed over to a new group. This new group crippled Bitcoin’s primary use-case as a digital currency by imposing a technically absurd limit in it’s ability process transactions. Basically, they made the pipe that transactions flow through far too small to ever scale for global adoption. They then re-conceptualized and re-pitched Bitcoin as a “digital gold” and an asset class for crypto-bros to play with under the “Greater Fool Theory” of economics. Basically, it became a digital tulip that will never challenge the USD’s role as a global reserve currency (not yet, anyway).
As a result of this split, the original Bitcoin community that made it popular in the beginning, because they wanted a digital cash alternative to the USD, had reached their wits end. They decided to split with the Bitcoin gatekeepers in 2017 and fork the project and become a new coin known as “Bitcoin Cash”. However, due to unrelenting market attacks and loss of brand, the Network Effect kicked in and Bitcoin Cash fizzled away into a managable, irrelevant corner that posed no threat to the NSA and their Bitcoin project.
Today, we are experiencing a Cambrian explosion of cryptocurrenies and blockchain based systems, but Bitcoin reigns supreme (but not too supreme). The regulators have green lighted Bitcoin but dangle the Sword of regulatory Damocles over all it’s competitors. Also, the USD still plays a fundamental role in the Bitcoin cryptoeconomics as most trades are settled in USD derivatives known as stable-coins.
So Bitcoin could have displaced the USD’s role as a global currency by now, but it didn’t because it technically couldn’t due to it’s artificial limitations. However, at any moment the NSA could flick a switch and remove the limitations (i.e. make the transaction pipe big again) and then it could become a global reserve currency. Satoshi’s coins could be worth a civilization-changing amount by then, and any body like BRICS who had integrated Bitcoin into their economies would be purchased wholesale overnight by the owners of Satoshi’s keys.
The history of the world is replete with Trojan Horse events, and those who do not learn from it are doomed to repeat it. BRICS, you’ve been warned.
A Bitcoin Timeline Recap
- 1996: A clandestine group within the NSA, known for its association with the “5-eyes” operation, releases a paper titled “How To Make A Mint: The Cryptography of Anonymous Electronic Cash.” The paper, heavily referencing the work of cryptographer Tatsuako Okamoto, describes the conceptual foundation for creating electronic cash using cryptography.
- 1995–2008: A series of cryptographic papers emerges from an enigmatic figure named Mitch Zabo (not real name). Whisperings within the community suggest Zabo’s association with the “5-eyes” operation, though these are largely dismissed as conspiracy theories. By the mid-2000s, it’s widely joked that half of the U.S. economy is fueled by the military-industrial complex.
- 2008: Bitcoin bursts onto the scene. Launched anonymously by a figure (or group) named Satoshi Nakamoto, the cryptocurrency is introduced through cryptography forums. Rumors swirl — is Bitcoin an experiment by a covert NSA team?
- 2009–2011: As Bitcoin’s underlying technology stabilizes, its success is undeniable. With a growing user base and increased enterprise interest, it becomes the talk of both tech towns and government halls.
- 2012: Behind closed doors, dramatic changes ensue. The project’s “ownership” (though decentralized in nature) appears to shift. Key figures from the early days, supposedly tied to the original NSA group, fade from prominence. In their place, a new cohort emerges, believed by some to have more nefarious intentions for the cryptocurrency’s future.
- 2013–2015: Bitcoin cements its status as the “digital gold” of the crypto realm. However, geopolitical plays start to affect its standing. Russia and China, wielding their intelligence muscles, hinder Bitcoin adoption within their territories.
- 2016–2020: A burst of new cryptocurrencies emerges, each hoping to capture a slice of the decentralized dream. But the shadow of regulatory bodies, notably the CFTC and SEC, looms large. Bitcoin, with its mysterious origins, remains largely untouched. In contrast, newer projects often find the regulatory sword of Damocles hanging ominously above them.
About Greg Wrong
This individual has proven himself unable to write a single line of code and publicly humiliates himself without a care in every public exposition. Greg Wrong also perjures himself with abandon and supreme confidence in courts all around the world asserting his claim, all without consequence. Greg Wrong claims to control Satoshi’s keys yet has not ever spent a single coin. Wrong is also associated with a billionare business partner Kevin (not real name). Kevin claims to have derived his fortune from online gambling, yet looks more like a military contractor pretending to be a flamboyant billionare gambling tycoon. Would a real billionare tycoon fund a clearly absurd, money losing effort led by Greg Wrong? Would they continue to burn “their” money year after year on this absurdity without ever thinking twice, never considering “their losses”. Is that how an actual billionare operates or how a 5-eyes government operation operates? Are they 5-eyes operatives, a plan C in a multi-faceted agenda?
The story ends here. Make of this what you will. The author was not privvy to any confidential information and is not part of any USAP at the NSA. The author has not undergone any intelligence accelerator programmes, and is not in contact with non-biological inter-frequential entities that disclosed the aforementioned. No, this is all just a fictional story with a mix of real and fictional characters for your entertainment purposes. Hope you enjoyed it.
